Today I’m so sad though I know it is not right for me to walk out from that room 1/2 way through but I just can’t stand it anymore. Smiling on my way out but deep down inside me I am crying (nobody knows).
Two sad things happened today is it just a coincidentally or I shall better not be that sensitive so that I won’t feel hurt:
1st, my so called close-colleague whom I used to have lunch with today asking me to eat alone when I jokingly told her that I wanted an early lunch. I don’t know whether she is on her PMS and act like usually she does (hurting people around her) or she might just be kidding as well but I just can’t take her words. *sad* Why? I hate myself of hating her just like that but I just can’t take it! Sadly I picked up the fone and called somebody from other department to join them lunch. At least I happily went to the mall and bought something for Cayenne (^_^) *spent RM60 incl. my lunch*
2nd, there is a meeting for briefing about the institutional audit held by the Registry department. 4 organizational charts were shown but I was no way to be seen. It has been verbally made known that I did not belongs to any of that 3 units here not to mention the total 5 or 6 units as the total. People from finance asked me once which unit that I belongs to, jokingly I answered that I was actually DAP (duduk atas pagar which means that I am on the fence in Malay). I had done and sacrificed so much for them but I am just no where to be seen or even appreciated.
I thought I don’t care but I just can’t take it…. *sob* *sob* Suddenly I feel like I am the next ugly duckling not because that I am not pretty… :’(
Most of the times our mind gets conditioned so much by the circumstances that we can not see the obvious.
We assume that things are so complicated and we get entrapped in the ghost of it’s thoughts.
Then we carry on the same syndrome to our relationships and make them complicated.
We all should “live a simple live and enjoy each blessed day” - Have a nice day!
I think I have enough complaining and I shall stop this bad habit. Why am I so complaining? I also do not know.
When I was young, I used to complain to my mother about my sister. Then now I used to talk so much about that “girl” to Calvin. At work, I complain about colleagues who did sillies. Am I nuts or what?
I do not know why I am so concern and eager to reveal the truth to others. Do I really have to let others know about the real thing behind the story which in the end people thought that I am over discouraged. How to be not so much of having displeasure over other’s doing?
Then comes to my little princess, when she was a newborn, I complaint my sister over feed her (3oz to 3.5oz at the 2nd week). Then when I had carry her too long I complaint that she’s heavy and my hands are tiring.
Now, that she is sick. She is suffering diarrhea, has no appetite and lost weight. My eyes are full with tears seeing her small boney body. I talked to God to let her recover soon, real soon and I shall stop complaining but be Thankful.
After so many busy days of system training and testing plus finishing all nine reports, I fell ill.
It was heavy rain yesterday on my way home from work yesterday. Supposingly to go to the tattoo shop with Ben but we didn’t because it was heavy rain and am not in the mood to go, thus I decided to postpone it (sorry Letchumy!… hehehe). The traffic was terrible (as usual on rainy days) and I doze off a while in the jam followed by cough, a mild sore throat, headache and feel a little warm in my body (OMG! izit H1N1… hehehe). So I quickly drove home to pick up Calvin for dinner and then to the clinic I go.
“Very unlikely is H1N1″, that is the doctor said. Phew! lucky me and so he gave me a day off to monitor my temperature. (Good also! I can rest at home).
Suppose to rest but I didn’t.. can’t really sleep after having breakfast with Calvin and do a little shopping at ‘pasar’ for dinner. Then some laundry and cleaning up for Cayenne’s and switch on the DVD player to watch a movie …”Secret” (不能说的秘密 directed by Jay Chou).
From Wikipedia
It is a very touching love story I would say but personally I do feel it is not “healthy” for young and innocent youth because it might lead them too much to “fairy tales”. Overall it is a nice movie about music and masterpieces to watch it again together with Cayenne *waiting* when she gets older so that she can have my comments and advice about love (yeah… I’m a mother now and I wanna be a caring mother… shhh! So who cares if I’m do sound a little shrewish here). Thanks to Jay Chou and aPee (for lending me that DVD).
So I have a little secret here to Cayenne until she is old enough to read and understand this post *LOL*…
“To Cayenne With Love”…. from Mommy (^_^)
Remember that day was fine day. The whole morning was just all right with blue sky and I was enjoying my mini-karaoke session while tip-tapping my fingers on the keyboard (as usual).
Then an email came into my office mailbox (ding dong… ooops wrong sound effect coz I don’t know the actual one, hehe). OMG! It was from Mr. Napet (ppl who work and is close to me know who is he) asking me to help him to finish a report which to be submitted on the next day.
Well the first few lines written there are okie, he wrote it as if he is very busy and has no time to do it. Asking me to help him to insert the figures he received from Finance. I guess he was very busy and really has no time to do even just to transform those figures to the table given by the ministry. HOWEVER, when I read till the last sentence, OMG!… I really wanted to shout at him at once. He wrote that mail and cc to the highest one in our department where his last two sentences are “Can you please help me to insert the numbers for the respective areas in the report that you have done halfway for us.The figures are shown in the attached file.”.
I did not done it halfway and that even isn’t my report. What I need to do is just fill in the second columns which I had completed. “The figures are shown in the attached file”: Since all are there and he always act smart, why can’t he just copy them in? Following the mail, he called me and told me (smart huh? don’t want to write this down in the mail coz it was cc to our superior) to help him because he does not know how to categorized them as per the ministry requirement.
Darn!! The category grouping I had done and given to him, figures are given to him by Finance so it was like everything is served on the table yet we need to spoon feed him. What makes him qualify to be an unit head whereby filling in empty boxes and identifying programme types he is unable to? Yet in the end pointing the finger at me and accusing me! STOP IT BAST**D!! I have had enough from him. *hate*
After all, the superiors know yet they say nothing. Pretending nothing had happen. Fine! Maybe what MT says is true, to the management these are nothing. Fine!! I resign for I do not feel they are appreciating me. MT says the management might think that I am asking for attention and equally treat… fux koff! Do not accuse me further!! If you do not appreciate my hard work here and think that Napet is very much more better than me, OK! Have him rest in peace with you all.
I quit! Please notify me if you know there is a vacancy out there. I want to survive but not a place like hell. TQ!
Marriage is just not tying the knot and live happily ever after, it is the acceptance and compromise with each other for the rest of our lives… it is never be easy and just sweet… it comes with salty, bitterness and sourness too!! “You may try but don’t take it away easily”
When people are in love, they tend to be blind and feel so in love with each other but when love feelings are in rest mode then people will start to blame this and that.
Those bitterness, sourness and salty are not just appear in a sudden, it is just that people did not expect them at the very beginning; and they are not prepared in handling them.
That is why it says “Love is Blind” which is so untrue, for the blindness is in human not love. Then it says “Love is Sweet”, yeah but not Marriage as Marriage has more than just sweet, bitter, sour and salty. Marriage is not also only the about vow that we made during its ceremony, it is the union in between two persons… and it often comes in package (whether you like it or don’t), in-laws *LOL*.
So with our fingers click together, lets build up a happy family. Together we walk through the sweetest and toughest moments in life. Parents are our guidance, the kids are our future, and our home is the place to let them grow.
How to Protect Yourself from Swine Flu
(Information from Ministry of Health …except those in brackets)
There is no vaccine available right now to protect against swine flu. There are certain actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza such as:
- Cover your nose and mouth with disposable tissue or handkerchief when you cough and sneeze. Then of course you have to throw the tissue into the waste basket after using it (so lame!… hehehe)
- Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough and sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
- Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
- If you get sick with influenza, stay at home and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them (unless the one you hate most… wuahahahah). Avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth.
- Consult you nearest health care facilities (yet before you see them go stay close with your enemy first… ehhehehehe).
For more information, please call Crisis Preparedness and Response Centre (CPRC), Ministry of Health Malaysia at 603-881 0200 / 881 0300 or email to cprc@moh.gov.my
*Good health is better than good wealth*
the melody inside my heart, the unfinished song
do you realize the missing beat?
the recent world is a bit odd, is like the missing pieces
that music of my heart is such an indescribable feeling
do you feel touch while you are listening to it
me myself do not know how nice it sounds indeed
this endless incomplete melody
sounds so real inside me, it makes me wanna sing
now, I wanted to complete this melody
though others may thought that I am crazy
“mama… mama u know I love u
and loving u is like the food to my soul”
WHO said on Wednesday (29April2009) the world is at the brink of a pandemic, raising its level as the swine flu virus spread and killed the person outside of Mexico, a toddler in Texas.
This morning, the news reporter from the radio says about the outbreak of H1N1 in Hongkong this morning. Hence, I am now hoping she (after her HongKong trip) won’t be coming to our house so soon for the goodsake of Cayenne.
Last but not least, this is for all, two antiviral drugs namely Relenza and Tamiflu made by GlaxoSmithKline and Roche AG & Gilead Sciences Inc. respectively have been shown to work against the H1N1 strain (source: thesundaily).
Many times in our lives we ought to be reminded that…
When we feel as though we are worthless cause we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we made and the circumstances that come our way but no matter what has happened or what will happen, we would never lose our value!
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely ceased, we are still priceless to those who love us. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know…
but by who we are and whose we are to
We are special, indeed we are all special and unique!
(Thanks goodness it’s Friday!)
